


The Boys with Blazing Eyes

by alachat



Category: Free!
Genre: Character Study, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:45:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alachat/pseuds/alachat
Summary: “Did you ever ask Serizawa-santo go with you?”“Of course not. I’m certain that he would say no. He’s too sensible.”“Then why did you ask me?”“Because I’m hoping you would say yes.”Natsuya asks, and Sousuke ponders.





	The Boys with Blazing Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> S3E05 leaves me waxing lyrical.

For one brief second, Sousuke believes that he has merely imagined it.

The question.

After all, it has been a long day. The train groans, heavy with layers of murmurs roughly stacked against one another. Heat weighs on the air and weariness sticks to his skin.

Beside him, Natsuya is still peering over a salaryman’s shoulder, sneaking a look at an ongoing football match.

He carefully raises his right shoulder, moves it a few degrees to the left, lowers it back down, and lets out a clipped breath.

“Sorry, Kirishima- _san_ , what were you saying?”

It takes another pass and a scoring attempt for Natsuya to turn around:

“Australia. After the surgery, why don’t you go with me to Australia?”

\---

The first person Sousuke found himself drawn to was a boy on fire. Flame was his crown and heat ran in his blood. His eyes were brilliantly bright, with dreams, with hopes, with a blinding belief in whatever future had in store for him. He often spoke, at the top of his lungs, of swimming his way to the Olympics, and conquering it. He always acted to make it come true.

Yet the boy’s heart was brighter still, with passion. He wore his love — for swimming, for his dad — loudly like it was a badge of honour. His Olympics dream, as well as his fixation on medley relay, were all given life by love. He let his emotions burst out free and wild. He laughed, cried, and made decisions at the drop of a hat, since his heart was forever too small for everything he felt.

And that’s how his fire spread, far and wide and uncontrollably. He blasted through walls into others’ lives, setting everything he touched ablaze. He cajoled almost strangers into swimming the medley relay with him. He shared himself with willing teammates and reluctant rivals; his fire reached out to them relentlessly until they, too, were engulfed.

Like a moth, Sousuke was drawn to him. Who weren’t, really?

But fire burns.

And the boy was careless, with himself and with others, the way a person is when they run full steam ahead towards a goal so cherished that they would trade everything they have for a chance to reach it.  
  
So he was burned.

So were others who had crossed paths with him on his way to victory.

So was Sousuke, caught in the boy’s flame and his own carelessness.

Nonetheless, when all is said and done, amidst crushing pain, Sousuke has never once regretted the boy.

Because the boy, Matsuoka Rin, is one of a kind.

\---

They spill out of the train and onto the platform along with scores of careworn salarymen. Natsuya walks ahead, shoulders relaxed, hands in pockets. Sousuke continues to stare at his back, struggling to unpack the question.

What a heavy question it is.

Ever since Rin, Australia has never left Sousuke’s mind, even when his shoulder broke and his ambitions ran dry. A foreign land, made known only through Rin’s letters. Not a past home, never quite a future destination, yet always exists at the periphery of his dreams, because a part of his goals was there — is still there.

He has expected Australia to keep staying there — deep in the trenches of his mind — for a good long while to come. But Natsuya’s suggestion pulls it all the way up to the surface. His heart quickens its pace, for reasons he has yet to fully understood. He’s puzzled: they are, well, friends, newly-made — Sousuke’s still hesitant about labeling their relationship as such, for he doesn’t make friends _this_ easily — connected by moments of honesty. But that is not enough to warrant the offer. He’s dazed, because he has just chosen to pursue a second chance, anything else beyond that is simply too big to fathom.

His first instinctive response wasn’t a yes — that doesn’t surprise him.

His second response wasn’t a no — _that_ astounds him.

Natsuya only turns around once, offering a grin.

\---

Or so he had thought, until he met Kirishima Natsuya.

\---

The _shokudo_ is crowded, but not enough to stem the currents of Sousuke’s thoughts. He picks the first meat-based dish he sees. He forgets to order a cola.

Natsuya charms the owner for a _tamagodon_ , a dish of chicken _karaage_ , and some beer.

Two bites into his dinner, Sousuke breaks the silence to quiet his mind:

“Why, Kirishima- _san_?”

“I’m asking Mikhail to be my coach, and I need a well-muscled guy to help me convince him,” replies Natsuya, half in jest. He looks straight at Sousuke. “This time, I will succeed.” Stubbornness bleeds out from his voice and lights up his eyes.

This answer does nothing to calm his floundering mind, but Sousuke pauses a little to acknowledge Natsuya’s determination.

Before he can press on, Natsuya continues: “And I thought you would want to swim with Matsuoka again.”

His voice now is but a tad louder than a whisper, only just enough to be heard. His smile becomes wistful. His eyes turn away from Sousuke and towards a dream long-held, still unfulfilled. A note of nostalgia hangs in the air, light yet lingering.

Sousuke breathes in, letting the familiar ache of longing flood his mind. But shared sorrow is halved. And Sousuke finds that sharing with Natsuya — an outsider to this pain of his, but understands it just the same — brings him comfort.

He exhales, basking in Natsuya’s unspoken kindness.

\---

Kirishima Natsuya didn’t barge into Sousuke’s life with flares and sparks like Rin did.

He didn’t do it subtly either.

What he did was face Sousuke, squarely, undaunted in the face of cool reticence. Sousuke showed him a sliver of his troubled heart, like one normally does, when facing strangers while lost in a sea of feelings too heavy to confide to intimates, because _they would cry_. In return, Natsuya offered a small part of himself, wrapped with care in soft voice and softer eyes.

It was this sincerity that chipped away at Sousuke’s barrier, that nudged him to open up.

He did so willingly, because it’s difficult, and undesirable, to block out the sun.

\---

It’s dark. They are standing in front of a vending machine outside a _konbini_. Natsuya hands Sousuke a cola, bought with Sousuke’s money, since Natsuya doesn’t treat younger guys to food or drinks. He doens’t find that policy of Natsuya ridiculous or irritating. A bit childish perhaps, but Sousuke sees it as a way for him to be equal, be square with Natsuya. That’s something he appreciates, as arbitrary a thought as it is.

His mind isn’t clear. But it’s no longer tumultuous. There are still too many things he needs to sort through, to make sense of, but he feels steady.

They find a bench nearby. The sky is full of clouds, windless. The air is still. Natsuya cracks open his black coffee. An old man rides by on an older bicycle, pedals going _click, click, click_. The merrymaking noise of a _yatai_ , muffled only by distance, punctuates the silence.

Sousuke takes a drink from his cola.

“Did you ever ask Serizawa- _san_ to go with you?”

“Of course not. I’m certain that he would say no. He’s too sensible.”

“Then why did you ask me?”

“Because I’m hoping you would say yes.”

Again, it’s not an answer Sousuke wants, or even expects. However, for some feelings he has no name for, this time he’s content.

\---

Like Rin, Natsuya exudes fire wherever he goes. His energy is contagious, his warmth addictive. He approaches others, strangers and close friends alike, with smiles so dazzling that they have no choice but to be swept along by his boyish charm. He also acts faster than he thinks, sometimes, leaving others breathless in his wake.

Natsuya loves openly, too. Whenever his brother is mentioned, he perks up, brighter than a beacon, bursting at the seams with pride. He always speaks of his closest friend, whom he keeps at the forefront of his mind and holds so very close to his heart. He wishes the world to those he love, and would be ready to give everything away for his wish to come true.

Yet there are parts where Natsuya differs from Rin. Where Rin pushes, Natsuya guides. He doesn’t knock down the best door he could find and drag you through it, like Rin does. He leads you to right doors, then leaves them open, waiting on the other side patiently, yet tenaciously — an approach he must have developed while caring for his worrisome brother. This is something that Rin doesn’t have — couldn’t have, for Gou has always been levelheaded, and Haru needed something more forceful than a gentle push in the right direction.

Sometimes, a gentle push is all Sousuke needs.

He’s at home, chasing sleep. Natsuya’s question hasn’t ceased to haunt him. It’s a promise slightly more substantial than what he has with Rin — something that can anchor him while he chases, not his dreams, not yet, but a chance to dream again. It might have been made on the spur of the moment, like many of Natsuya’s choices, but it’s made out of kindness nonetheless. That warms him. Although the desire for his companionship is perplexing, it also brings forth a surge of delight in him.

It’s the light at the end of the tunnel, and the light behind the window guiding him home, all at once. Sousuke yearns for it, because there is no one who doesn’t yearn for light.

A part of him sounds the alarm. Phantom burns — from when he ran too fast towards a flame too hot — whisper: _The sun burns too, you know_.

Even so, Sousuke has always been weak against boys with blazing eyes.

\---

Natsuya is set to leave for Tokyo early morning. He has told Sousuke not to bother, but Sousuke comes to the station to see him off anyway. He hands Natsuya a can of black coffee, bought with his own money, as he has no qualms about treating older guys to food and drinks, especially as a silent, clumsy token of gratitude. Natsuya hesitates for just a heartbeat before he accepts the drink, eyes beaming.

They sit side by side again, sleeve brushing sleeve, waiting for the _shinkansen_.

“What’s next after Tokyo, Kirishima- _san_?”

“South Korea, most likely. There’s a family friend my mum wants me to visit.”

“When are you returning to Australia then?”

“Not for a while, I think.”

“Would a year be too long a wait for you?”

Sousuke’s question comes out lighter than air. Natsuya turns to him; eyes widen, eyebrows rises only to pinch together comically before lips stretches wide into a summer-drenched smile.

Above them, the sun is radiant in the achingly blue sky.

\---

Natsuya doesn’t actually know why he asks Sousuke to come with him to Australia.

In fact, he is not entirely sure why he approached Sousuke back then, at Anago hot springs, either. Just that he saw a boy with teal eyes as deep as the ocean, shoulders stiff as if he had been carrying the weight of the world alone for far too long, and was just allowed to put it down, finally, but that left him a bit lost, a bit unsteady on his feet, a bit unsure of where he was, where he could be, since for a long time all he knew was that weight on his shoulders. Yet he still stood tall, back ramrod straight, frame strong, eyes direct, voice firm. Natsuya was compelled to seek him out, to satisfy his own curiosity, if nothing else.

He told Nao this. His best friend only chuckled.

Mostly at his impulsiveness, undoubtedly.

Natsuya can’t help a small smile at that thought.

Anyway, when they met again (inevitably, because the world is small and their world is tiny), he found out who Sousuke was. The knowledge intrigued him further, so he reached out once more.

Sousuke was more relaxed, more used to not being weighed down. However, he seemed more uncertain: he was standing at a junction, facing one too many choices, trying to tread carefully but so glued down by past pain that he stopped moving altogether.

So Natsuya gave him a nudge, because that’s what he does.

As he watched Sousuke find his bearings on his own — because that’s what _he_ does — watched determination flow back, slowly at first, then increasing in both speed and intensity until it came gushing out, flooding the boy’s eyes and being, Natsuya felt himself caught between teal waves.

What else is there to do, but dive in?

/

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Natsuya addresses Sousuke as _kimi_ and Rin as _onamae_. Rin addresses Natsuya as "Natsuya- _san_ ", and Sousuke addresses Natsuya as "Kirishima- _san_ ". This titbit of information has neither relevance nor consequences, really.
> 
> 2\. I know we have no idea what decision Sousuke is going to make _yet_ , but "second chance" has always mattered a lot to me, so here we are.
> 
> 3\. Find me @ [Twitter](https://twitter.com/alachat_) or [Tumblr](http://alachat.tumblr.com/)


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